Holly Happy Homemaker

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

how to be a good housewife

How to Be a Good Housewife
A housewife is a woman who enters into a mutual agreement with her husband that outlines their division of labor. Most often, the husband works during the day and earns income to financially support the family, while the wife takes on most of the non-financial responsibilities, such as maintaining the home and, if applicable, caring for the kids. It is up to the couple whether this arrangement works for them. Sometimes it's a temporary situation, such as if children are too young to go to school and the cost of daycare is greater than the woman's salary. For other couples, it may represent a commitment to traditional values. Whatever the reason, if you have chosen to be a housewife, here are some suggestions to help you flourish in this role.

Outline the expectations with your husband. The only way to be a good housewife is for you and your husband to discuss standards and expectations, and meet those expectations (provided they're realistic) as best as you can. In other words, the definition of a good housewife depends on which house you're in! Don't assume that you have the same expectations because you may find out the hard way (through arguments) that you don't. Sit down and talk it over. Ask your husband, "What are your expectations of me as a housewife?" While you're at it, discuss your expectations of him as a working husband. Does he have any responsibilities other than bringing home a paycheck? If so, what are they? For example, you may be primarily responsible for keeping the house clean, but he may be responsible for cleaning up after himself - putting his dirty laundry in the hamper, placing things where they belong after he's finished using them, emptying the trash near his desk, etc.
Take a break. A common stereotype that deters many women from the concept of being a housewife is the idea that she will have to look after the home and children twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, always cooking and cleaning. However, this doesn't have to be the case. If he gets time off from his job (evenings, weekends) so can you. Maybe he can do laundry or entertain the kids on one of his days off while you take a break to recharge your batteries, such as volunteering for a local organization, visiting a spa, or spending time with your friends. Not only will it allow you to foster your sense of individuality, but it will also allow him to see what housework or childcare is like, and he may respect you more for taking on these responsibilities through the week. If he works around the clock, or is otherwise unable to spend some time in your shoes, consider hiring a babysitter or housekeeper to take care of things while you take time off.
Be aware of what your man needs when he comes home. Some men need space when they come home from a hard day at work, so if this is how your partner is, he may want to chill out in front of the TV or to read the newspaper before talking about his day or eating dinner. Other men, however, wish to speak of their day before they relax. If this is the case, listen to what he has to say and take turns talking about how your day went. Finally, some men like to spend time with his friends for some male bonding after work. Step back and let this happen as needed. If he comes home at unpredictable times, however, this may need to be discussed so that you can make sure you have dinner together or that he doesn't wake up the children accidentally.
Have meals on the table at a regular time. One of the luxuries of being at home is that you can prepare delicious, healthy meals for yourself and your spouse. You don't have to rely on fast food and microwaved dishes. Making meals at a regular time every day gives him something to look forward to when he comes home, especially if you learn how to cook his favorite dishes. Think about it: If your roles were reversed, wouldn't the prospect of coming home to a lovingly prepared meal make your day a little easier to get through?
Take care of yourself. Maintaining your appearance, while not essential in being a housewife, does certainly help remind your husband (and yourself) that you are still a woman and not simply a housekeeper. Wear makeup, if that's your style, and clothes that can be both pretty and practical. Long, full skirts and well fitting jeans can do double duty as you go around the house doing the necessary chores while keeping you looking sharp for when your special someone comes home. Keeping your hair tucked up under a bandanna during the day and giving it a brush through with a spritz of water or hairspray can help you look nice in just minutes.

If you're experimenting with a new recipe have another dinner option just in case is always a good idea.
Keep the house tidy and pleasant. There is no excuse for your man to come home to a mess, so make friends with your vacuum and feather duster.
Always remember to get out of the house, whether it's for a visit with a friend, a nail appointment, a trip to the gym or even a trip to the supermarket.
If you have children at home, remember to relax. Although your home may not look perfect, you are doing the hardest job there is. Give yourself a break and enjoy your children, your spouse and your home.

Do not become overly obsessed with keeping things his way. If you do this, you will risk losing your own happiness. Try to keep the two equal. Balance his happiness with your happiness.
Remember, you're his partner, not his slave. Your own happiness is just as important as his. Make sure he's pulling his weight in the relationship and taking care of you and your needs as well.


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